Will My Departed Child Come Back? My previous post, Life in the Afterlife, talks about living a life in the spiritual world after death. Now we discuss the final step of the soul’s journey - resurrection and returning to this physical world. After we've passed on, will we live again? Will we be reunited with... Continue Reading →
Life In the Afterlife
What Exactly is the Afterlife and What Does My Child Do There? A question parents often ask after the death of a child is 'Where is my child now? What's my child doing? Does my child have a life in Heaven?' One of the basic tenets of Judaism is belief in an afterlife. In brief,... Continue Reading →
Happy Birthday Jacob
'Celebrating' My Son's Birthday Well, I'm not really celebrating. It's not like we're eating cake and giving presents. The adjectives 'observing' or 'acknowledging' would be more appropriate. For the past few weeks, I was unsure of how I wanted to observe Jacob’s birthday. In some ways, I was dreading the day which used to be... Continue Reading →
Remembering My Son Through My Grief
Memories I Don't Want to Forget Since this blog is in memory of my son, I felt it’s about time I talked about him. I have so many good memories of him and I don’t want to forget them. I figured I’d better start writing them down. What follows is more than just a series... Continue Reading →
Where Did All My Prayers Go?
I Prayed For My Child Every Day, Then He Died I thought that if I nagged enough, I would get what I want. In fact, nagging the Almighty is even echoed in the Jewish prayer book: "Hope in G‑d, be strong and let your heart be valiant, and hope in G‑d.” (Siddur Tehillat Hashem, p.78)... Continue Reading →
After Child Loss, Answering A Painful Question
How Many Children Do I Have After My Son Died? I’m a firm believer in the Boy Scout motto ‘Be Prepared’. I sometimes think about various scenarios and wonder how I would respond. Now, I don’t often meet new people. And now, after losing my child, I'm a bit of a recluse. But if I... Continue Reading →
Does G-d Create Good and Bad?
After Losing My Child, I Have to Ask This Painful Question About Death and Dying I never thought about death so much until my son died. Death. The word invokes something bad and evil. It’s a word that's not easily defined. It’s something no one wants to discuss. However, when we do think about death... Continue Reading →
Running Away From Grief
Celebrating Shabbat With My Son Before Child Loss We had a pleasant and happy family Shabbat table before my son passed away. Before I lost my child, the Friday night Shabbat meal was always a special time for our family. When the kids were small, we looked forward to discussing the Torah portion of the... Continue Reading →
I Felt I Was Mourning Alone
Understanding Child Loss is Impossible for a Parent Who Has Never Experienced It After I lost my son, during the week of shiva people were coming to our home saying ‘May G-d comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem’. These are the traditional words of consolation said to Jewish mourners. But I would... Continue Reading →
The Disconnect Between My Head and My Heart
Why Can't I Emotionally Cope With the Loss of My Child? My intellectual brain and my emotional heart are worlds apart. Understanding something and emotionally internalizing it are two separate realms that, in me, are totally disconnected from one another. This is why it's so hard for me to understand or accept child loss. Intellectually I... Continue Reading →
Child Loss and Dealing with Guilt
I Felt Guilty When My Child Suddenly Died When I lost my son, the nagging feelings of guilt set in and made me more miserable than I already was. I thought to myself, ‘Was there something I could have done to prevent what happened?’. Jacob, being a stoic young man, never complained about physical ailments.... Continue Reading →