Coping With the Death of a Child
Comfort for grieving parents
My Son's Sudden Death Left Me Grief Stricken and Confused My emotional and intellectual struggle with child loss began four months ago when my dear son of twenty four years suddenly died from a heart condition no one knew he had. A kind, sweet young man, Jacob was a good son, brother, uncle, and friend to those who... Continue Reading →
Tomorrow is Jacob’s yahrzeit and I'm preparing for another Purim without my son. Why did he leave this world close to the happiest day on the Jewish calendar? It’s four years since he suddenly passed away at age 24 of heart failure. As always, I have immense trouble dealing with his passing, and more so... Continue Reading →
My son’s yahrzeit is coming up again. Yes, again. It comes around every year. It’s hard to believe that it will be four years since he passed away. Our family lost a wonderful son, brother, and uncle. In honor of his yahrzeit, I want to share some thoughts about him. When I lost my adult child,... Continue Reading →
First of all, I want to share the wonderful news that my husband and I are grandparents of twin boys born to Jacob’s brother Adam and his wife on the fourth night of Chanukah. In addition to the joy we feel over the birth of these little guys, it’s also bittersweet in that our son... Continue Reading →
Chanukah is around the corner and I’m already thinking about how I’m going to handle another holiday without my son. Every year it seems to get harder. Thank G-d, we will be with family and I’ll light his menorah. But I wonder, how does he celebrate Chanukah in Heaven? I don’t think he lights candles... Continue Reading →
Every few weeks I go to the cemetery and trim the grass over my child's grave. ( Why the cemetery isn’t doing this is a long story, so don’t ask ) Next to Jacob are two graves of young adults who died around the same age, one in his mid twenties, the other in his... Continue Reading →
The post How I'm Honoring My Child's Memory, discusses how my husband and I are honoring our son's memory. We talked about doing mitzvos (good deeds), learning Torah, and giving tzedakah (charity) as a few of the many ways to remember a child. Another wonderful way to honor a child's memory is by emulating the... Continue Reading →
Parents and teachers are sometimes afraid to talk to young children about death. ‘They’re too young’ or ‘They won’t understand’ are a few of the justifications to avoid speaking about this topic. The fear of talking to young children about death is unfounded, and is based on our own adult discomfort about the subject. In... Continue Reading →
Shabbat is a beautiful day, an island in time, in which I relax and connect with G-d. I enjoy the special foods, prayers, and having time to learn. I like preparing for Shabbat. I enjoy the smell of a hot crockpot filled with cholent on Friday afternoon. However, Shabbat is also emotionally hard for me.... Continue Reading →
As I mentioned in the post Therapy for Traumatic Grief, finding the right grief therapist can be challenging. Sometimes it takes working with a few before the right one comes along. After I lost my child, finally found a good therapist who taught me several methods to help cope with loss. In the words of... Continue Reading →
A good friend of our family, Murray Friedman, recently passed away at 92 years of age. He was in good health until the end, when G-d called his soul back to Heaven. How do I compare Murray’s life to the life of my son Jacob? Murray had a long life, 92 years, in which he... Continue Reading →
Grief comes in many forms for different people. Those who have lost a sibling, spouse, or parent experience grief differently from those who suffer grief due to child loss. Mental health professionals categorize grief into several types. One of these types is prolonged grief, a grief experienced by most bereaved parents. This article discusses the... Continue Reading →
Intrusive and negative thoughts affect grieving parents a lot. These thoughts come at random times and seem to have a life of their own. Meditation is a very useful activity to deal these thoughts either by eliminating them, or directing them appropriately. I’ve found meditation helps me control painful thoughts and calms me down. What... Continue Reading →
Coping With the Death of a Child 