Every few weeks I go to the cemetery and trim the grass over my child's grave. ( Why the cemetery isn’t doing this is a long story, so don’t ask ) Next to Jacob are two graves of young adults who died around the same age, one in his mid twenties, the other in his... Continue Reading →
Honor a Child’s Memory by Emulating Their Behavior
The post How I'm Honoring My Child's Memory, discusses how my husband and I are honoring our son's memory. We talked about doing mitzvos (good deeds), learning Torah, and giving tzedakah (charity) as a few of the many ways to remember a child. Another wonderful way to honor a child's memory is by emulating the... Continue Reading →
Don’t Be Afraid to Talk to Young Children About Death
Parents and teachers are sometimes afraid to talk to young children about death. ‘They’re too young’ or ‘They won’t understand’ are a few of the justifications to avoid speaking about this topic. The fear of talking to young children about death is unfounded, and is based on our own adult discomfort about the subject. In... Continue Reading →
Shabbat Isn’t the Same Without My Son – Memories of a Grieving Mom
Shabbat is a beautiful day, an island in time, in which I relax and connect with G-d. I enjoy the special foods, prayers, and having time to learn. I like preparing for Shabbat. I enjoy the smell of a hot crockpot filled with cholent on Friday afternoon. However, Shabbat is also emotionally hard for me.... Continue Reading →
Art Therapy as a Means of Coping with Child Loss and Grief
Art therapy is a valuable tool that helps people cope with trauma. In particular, parents suffering from child loss find art therapy useful to express painful emotions they can’t otherwise communicate. How does creating art help parents cope with such tragedy? To fully understand the benefits of art therapy as a means of coping with... Continue Reading →
Do They Celebrate Birthdays in Heaven?
My son’s birthday is today. Jewish tradition places great importance on the day of a person’s death, the yahrzeit, but not so much on the day of birth. Ever since my parents passed away, I observe their yahrzeits each year. I just never think about their birthdays. After I lost my son Jacob, his birthday... Continue Reading →
Child Loss and Making Our Tears Count
I lost my son at the young age of 24. The sadness of child loss never goes away, and I thought the intensity would diminish over time. Instead it seems that, in some ways, coping with child loss is harder for me now than it was then. Even though my son passed away a while ago,... Continue Reading →
Trying to Find Purpose in the Death of a Child
I’m a member of an exclusive club. It’s called the child loss club. I didn't ask to join it. The dues are extremely high. Sometimes the dues are so high I wonder how I’ll get through another month. I’ve tried reaching out to the membership office (aka Heaven) but no one answers, so I can’t... Continue Reading →
Visiting My Child’s Grave
One of the Hardest Things for Me to Do is Visit My Son’s Grave. Although it’s been over two years since my son suddenly passed away at 24 years of age, I dread going to the cemetery. I even get depressed just thinking about going. Carrying the grief of child loss, sadness and depression doesn't... Continue Reading →
Uvalde, Texas – Another Tragedy of Large Scale Child Loss
What Can I Say To a Parent Losing a Child Through Violence? Parents are burying their children in Uvalde, Texas. Although I have also lost a child, I can’t even imagine what I could say to parents are suffering child loss through violence. There are just no words. Judaism teaches that everything has a reason.... Continue Reading →
Accepting Comfort After Child Loss
Living In An Intense Stage Of Grief It’s been a bit more than two years since my son passed away at age 24. Whereas the intense sadness, anger, and depression have subsided, at times I still find myself agitated and miserable. These moments are usually the result of a physical or emotional trigger like being... Continue Reading →
The Grief of Child Loss and the Parental Guilt Trip
The Problem Of Trying To Parent My Child Beyond Childhood In my post Dealing with Guilt and Hashgacha Pratit, I discussed how G-d has a plan for me and orchestrates my every life event. I do what I can do within human limitations, but beyond that, it's up to Him. I'm suffering from child loss... Continue Reading →