A New Chapter In Grief And Mourning I’m in the middle of the second year of my son’s passing. Until now, I thought about Jacob constantly. From the time I awoke in the morning until the time I went to bed at night, my thoughts were on him. Now, for some reason, I don’t think... Continue Reading →
Why Do Good People Suffer?
This Nagging Question Never Dies There’s been a lot going on here so I haven’t been writing in awhile. I recently called a good friend and said to her ‘I wish I could tell you my life is so happy and that everything is going really super.’ I feel bad because I usually call her... Continue Reading →
My Rosh Hashanah Musings – Finding The Good
Rosh Hashanah is a holiday of contradictions for me. On the one hand, I approach the New Year with solemnity, a serious demeanor, praying that G-d blesses me, my family, and all the Jewish people, with a year of physical and spiritual health and happiness. On the other hand, I have a festive holiday meal,... Continue Reading →
Do Dreams About My Child Have Any Meaning?
Every Night I Hope My Son Will Come Back To Me In My Dreams Sometimes I have a dream about loved ones who have passed away. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, I miss them so much and I wish they were here with me. I’ve always wondered about the meaning of these dreams. Are... Continue Reading →
How I’m Living With Loss – Finding Grief Relief After The Death Of My Adult Child
I’m in the second year of my son’s passing and I feel like I’m still in a dream. In this horrible dream, Jacob passed away. He’s no longer with me. Problem is, I can’t wake up from this dream. Every morning I awaken and a small piece of me hopes he’s still here, upstairs in... Continue Reading →
On Tisha B’Av G-d Is Mourning With Us
I Just Don't Feel Sad On Tisha B'Av Here we are again. Another Tisha B’Av and we’re still here. By ‘here’, I mean we’re still away from our Beit Hamikdosh, our Holy Temple. We’re still away from living in our land as it was meant to be lived in. On Tisha B’Av the custom is... Continue Reading →
How I’m Honoring My Child’s Memory
Furniture Is Not Needed In The Next World In my last post, The 4 Hardest Things I Had To Do After My Son Passed Away, I spoke about how very sad I was about clearing out my son’s room after he left this world for the next. There were clothes and furniture that had to... Continue Reading →
The 4 Hardest Things I Had To Do After My Son Passed Away
It's been more than a year since my son passed away. Of all the things that had to get done after his burial, I still remember the following tasks as taking the most out of me emotionally as well as physically. 1. Getting a Headstone For My Son Putting up a headstone for a child's... Continue Reading →
Grief Has No Timeline
Recently I was contacted by an old acquaintance. We live on opposite ends of the country, so we don't see each other at all. In fact, we really don't have any contact with one another except maybe once or twice a year via phone or text. On this occasion, she caught me at a bad... Continue Reading →
The Meron Tragedy – Children Ripped Away From Their Parents
A Staggering Example of Large Scale Child Loss The tragedy at Mt. Meron in Israel, where scores of people died, is another sad reminder that Moshiach isn’t here yet. When I first heard what happened there, I was shocked and saddened. Some time later, I read online short bios and photos of those who died.... Continue Reading →
Who Can I Talk To About Child Loss?
In March of 2020, my dear son Jacob unexpectedly passed away at age 24. I carry the grief of his passing constantly. I have the additional anguish of being unable, or not having the opportunity, to talk about my feelings of grief to others. Talking about one’s feelings to others can be emotionally, and even... Continue Reading →
Is it OK to Be Angry At G-d
My Child Has Died and I'm Angry When my son suddenly passed away I felt angry for months. I was angry at my husband, at my friends, at the bank clerk. I was angry at everything and everyone. I was angry at people for no particular reason. I was angry ‘just because’. All that time,... Continue Reading →