Coping With the Death of a Child
Comfort for grieving parents
Which Yahrzeit Should I Observe? The anniversary of a person’s passing on the Jewish calendar is called a yahrzeit. In Yiddish, yahrzeit means ‘year time’, and is the time once a year when Jewish people acknowledge their loved ones by lighting a candle, saying Kaddish in synagogue, performing mitzvot, and studying Torah. A yahrzeit is... Continue Reading →
Bereaved Parents Have Different Needs For Different Situations Everyone is different as to how, when, and if, they will accept comfort over losing a child. The how, where, and when of each loss is different for each situation. A parent mourning the death of a child after a long illness may require a different sort... Continue Reading →
A New Chapter In Grief And Mourning I’m in the middle of the second year of my son’s passing. Until now, I thought about Jacob constantly. From the time I awoke in the morning until the time I went to bed at night, my thoughts were on him. Now, for some reason, I don’t think... Continue Reading →
I Just Don't Feel Sad On Tisha B'Av Here we are again. Another Tisha B’Av and we’re still here. By ‘here’, I mean we’re still away from our Beit Hamikdosh, our Holy Temple. We’re still away from living in our land as it was meant to be lived in. On Tisha B’Av the custom is... Continue Reading →
Recently I was contacted by an old acquaintance. We live on opposite ends of the country, so we don't see each other at all. In fact, we really don't have any contact with one another except maybe once or twice a year via phone or text. On this occasion, she caught me at a bad... Continue Reading →
A Staggering Example of Large Scale Child Loss The tragedy at Mt. Meron in Israel, where scores of people died, is another sad reminder that Moshiach isn’t here yet. When I first heard what happened there, I was shocked and saddened. Some time later, I read online short bios and photos of those who died.... Continue Reading →
The Meaning of a Year Gone By Without Jacob Does time go by faster or slower for a grieving parent? The yahrzeit comes around every year, no matter what. My son, Jacob, just had his first yahrzeit. This was the day I’d been dreading. Thankfully, it wasn’t the miserable crying fest I thought it would... Continue Reading →
Many parents visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson (1902-1994) for advice and comfort after losing their child. The Rebbe would respond with patience and empathy, giving words of consolation and encouragement. Here are some of the Rebbe’s insights on the terrible tragedy of child loss. (What follows are not actual quotes, but merely... Continue Reading →
What Exactly is the Afterlife and What Does My Child Do There? A question parents often ask after the death of a child is 'Where is my child now? What's my child doing? Does my child have a life in Heaven?' One of the basic tenets of Judaism is belief in an afterlife. In brief,... Continue Reading →
'Celebrating' My Son's Birthday Well, I'm not really celebrating. It's not like we're eating cake and giving presents. The adjectives 'observing' or 'acknowledging' would be more appropriate. For the past few weeks, I was unsure of how I wanted to observe Jacob’s birthday. In some ways, I was dreading the day which used to be... Continue Reading →
I'm Supposed to be Happy, But I'm Crying ‘Blessed are you, L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion.’ This is one of the blessings we recite on the first night of Chanukah and my son Jacob is not with us. G-d... Continue Reading →
Memories I Don't Want to Forget Since this blog is in memory of my son, I felt it’s about time I talked about him. I have so many good memories of him and I don’t want to forget them. I figured I’d better start writing them down. What follows is more than just a series... Continue Reading →
Coping With the Death of a Child 