Coping With the Death of a Child
Comfort for grieving parents
A Life Story Cut Short My husband and I attend a support group for bereaved parents. All of us had a child who passed away as an adult. One person mentioned that it’s very painful to watch her child’s friends growing in their careers, getting married, and moving on with their lives. Memories of her... Continue Reading →
Which Yahrzeit Should I Observe? The anniversary of a person’s passing on the Jewish calendar is called a yahrzeit. In Yiddish, yahrzeit means ‘year time’, and is the time once a year when Jewish people acknowledge their loved ones by lighting a candle, saying Kaddish in synagogue, performing mitzvot, and studying Torah. A yahrzeit is... Continue Reading →
It’s funny how feelings change with the passing of time. Although sadness over my son’s passing hasn’t gone away, and never will, it certainly has changed and now goes in a different direction. When Jacob first passed away and for some significant time after, I couldn’t bear to look at any of his personal stuff.... Continue Reading →
Furniture Is Not Needed In The Next World In my last post, The 4 Hardest Things I Had To Do After My Son Passed Away, I spoke about how very sad I was about clearing out my son’s room after he left this world for the next. There were clothes and furniture that had to... Continue Reading →
Fond Memories from Long Ago I fondly remember our family seders when Jacob and his brothers were young. They received afikoman prizes for searching and finding the hidden piece of matzah. When they got older, finding the afikoman was less of a thrill, but they still enjoyed telling over the story of the Exodus and... Continue Reading →
'Celebrating' My Son's Birthday Well, I'm not really celebrating. It's not like we're eating cake and giving presents. The adjectives 'observing' or 'acknowledging' would be more appropriate. For the past few weeks, I was unsure of how I wanted to observe Jacob’s birthday. In some ways, I was dreading the day which used to be... Continue Reading →
Memories I Don't Want to Forget Since this blog is in memory of my son, I felt it’s about time I talked about him. I have so many good memories of him and I don’t want to forget them. I figured I’d better start writing them down. What follows is more than just a series... Continue Reading →
Why Can't I Emotionally Cope With the Loss of My Child? My intellectual brain and my emotional heart are worlds apart. Understanding something and emotionally internalizing it are two separate realms that, in me, are totally disconnected from one another. This is why it's so hard for me to understand or accept child loss. Intellectually I... Continue Reading →
I Felt Guilty When My Child Suddenly Died When I lost my son, the nagging feelings of guilt set in and made me more miserable than I already was. I thought to myself, ‘Was there something I could have done to prevent what happened?’. Jacob, being a stoic young man, never complained about physical ailments.... Continue Reading →
A Chassidic Teaching From the Alter Rebbe - Seeing the Good How can there be 'good' in losing a child? Seeing the good in all that happens in life can be hard. Before I lost my son, I would always pray that he would get married and have a family. I prayed that his life... Continue Reading →
My Son's Sudden Death Left Me Grief Stricken and Confused My emotional and intellectual struggle with child loss began four months ago when my dear son of twenty four years suddenly died from a heart condition no one knew he had. A kind, sweet young man, Jacob was a good son, brother, uncle, and friend to those who... Continue Reading →
Coping With the Death of a Child 