Coping With the Death of a Child
Comfort for grieving parents
A Staggering Example of Large Scale Child Loss The tragedy at Mt. Meron in Israel, where scores of people died, is another sad reminder that Moshiach isn’t here yet. When I first heard what happened there, I was shocked and saddened. Some time later, I read online short bios and photos of those who died.... Continue Reading →
In March of 2020, my dear son Jacob unexpectedly passed away at age 24. I carry the grief of his passing constantly. I have the additional anguish of being unable, or not having the opportunity, to talk about my feelings of grief to others. Talking about one’s feelings to others can be emotionally, and even... Continue Reading →
Fond Memories from Long Ago I fondly remember our family seders when Jacob and his brothers were young. They received afikoman prizes for searching and finding the hidden piece of matzah. When they got older, finding the afikoman was less of a thrill, but they still enjoyed telling over the story of the Exodus and... Continue Reading →
The Meaning of a Year Gone By Without Jacob Does time go by faster or slower for a grieving parent? The yahrzeit comes around every year, no matter what. My son, Jacob, just had his first yahrzeit. This was the day I’d been dreading. Thankfully, it wasn’t the miserable crying fest I thought it would... Continue Reading →
Many parents visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson (1902-1994) for advice and comfort after losing their child. The Rebbe would respond with patience and empathy, giving words of consolation and encouragement. Here are some of the Rebbe’s insights on the terrible tragedy of child loss. (What follows are not actual quotes, but merely... Continue Reading →
Some Day, One Day (Inspired by the lyrics from the song One Day by Matisyahu) Sometimes in my tears I drownBut I pray it doesn’t get me downSo when negativity surroundsI know some day it'll all turn around because All my life I've been waiting forI've been praying forMashiach to come and stayThere’ll be no... Continue Reading →
What Exactly is the Afterlife and What Does My Child Do There? A question parents often ask after the death of a child is 'Where is my child now? What's my child doing? Does my child have a life in Heaven?' One of the basic tenets of Judaism is belief in an afterlife. In brief,... Continue Reading →
'Celebrating' My Son's Birthday Well, I'm not really celebrating. It's not like we're eating cake and giving presents. The adjectives 'observing' or 'acknowledging' would be more appropriate. For the past few weeks, I was unsure of how I wanted to observe Jacob’s birthday. In some ways, I was dreading the day which used to be... Continue Reading →
I'm Supposed to be Happy, But I'm Crying ‘Blessed are you, L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion.’ This is one of the blessings we recite on the first night of Chanukah and my son Jacob is not with us. G-d... Continue Reading →
Memories I Don't Want to Forget Since this blog is in memory of my son, I felt it’s about time I talked about him. I have so many good memories of him and I don’t want to forget them. I figured I’d better start writing them down. What follows is more than just a series... Continue Reading →
I Prayed For My Child Every Day, Then He Died I thought that if I nagged enough, I would get what I want. In fact, nagging the Almighty is even echoed in the Jewish prayer book: "Hope in G‑d, be strong and let your heart be valiant, and hope in G‑d.” (Siddur Tehillat Hashem, p.78)... Continue Reading →
How Many Children Do I Have After My Son Died? I’m a firm believer in the Boy Scout motto ‘Be Prepared’. I sometimes think about various scenarios and wonder how I would respond. Now, I don’t often meet new people. And now, after losing my child, I'm a bit of a recluse. But if I... Continue Reading →
Coping With the Death of a Child 