The Meaning of a Year Gone By Without Jacob Does time go by faster or slower for a grieving parent? The yahrzeit comes around every year, no matter what. My son, Jacob, just had his first yahrzeit. This was the day I’d been dreading. Thankfully, it wasn’t the miserable crying fest I thought it would... Continue Reading →
Cremation or Burial? A Jewish View
In memory of our son’s yahrzeit, my husband and I sponsored the lecture, ‘Cremation or Burial? A Jewish View’, given on Zoom by Mr. Doron Kornbluth. This presentation was hosted by Rabbi Sholom Pinson of Chabad of South Bay in California where Jacob attended school and synagogue services. In the past, cremation was not performed... Continue Reading →
The Rebbe Speaks to Grieving Parents About Child Loss
Many parents visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson (1902-1994) for advice and comfort after losing their child. The Rebbe would respond with patience and empathy, giving words of consolation and encouragement. Here are some of the Rebbe’s insights on the terrible tragedy of child loss. (What follows are not actual quotes, but merely... Continue Reading →
Resurrection – Wishful Thinking or Reality?
Will My Departed Child Come Back? My previous post, Life in the Afterlife, talks about living a life in the spiritual world after death. Now we discuss the final step of the soul’s journey - resurrection and returning to this physical world. After we've passed on, will we live again? Will we be reunited with... Continue Reading →
Life In the Afterlife
What Exactly is the Afterlife and What Does My Child Do There? A question parents often ask after the death of a child is 'Where is my child now? What's my child doing? Does my child have a life in Heaven?' One of the basic tenets of Judaism is belief in an afterlife. In brief,... Continue Reading →
Happy Birthday Jacob
'Celebrating' My Son's Birthday Well, I'm not really celebrating. It's not like we're eating cake and giving presents. The adjectives 'observing' or 'acknowledging' would be more appropriate. For the past few weeks, I was unsure of how I wanted to observe Jacob’s birthday. In some ways, I was dreading the day which used to be... Continue Reading →
Remembering My Son Through My Grief
Memories I Don't Want to Forget Since this blog is in memory of my son, I felt it’s about time I talked about him. I have so many good memories of him and I don’t want to forget them. I figured I’d better start writing them down. What follows is more than just a series... Continue Reading →
Where Did All My Prayers Go?
I Prayed For My Child Every Day, Then He Died I thought that if I nagged enough, I would get what I want. In fact, nagging the Almighty is even echoed in the Jewish prayer book: "Hope in G‑d, be strong and let your heart be valiant, and hope in G‑d.” (Siddur Tehillat Hashem, p.78)... Continue Reading →
After Child Loss, Answering A Painful Question
How Many Children Do I Have After My Son Died? I’m a firm believer in the Boy Scout motto ‘Be Prepared’. I sometimes think about various scenarios and wonder how I would respond. Now, I don’t often meet new people. And now, after losing my child, I'm a bit of a recluse. But if I... Continue Reading →
Does G-d Create Good and Bad?
After Losing My Child, I Have to Ask This Painful Question About Death and Dying I never thought about death so much until my son died. Death. The word invokes something bad and evil. It’s a word that's not easily defined. It’s something no one wants to discuss. However, when we do think about death... Continue Reading →
Running Away From Grief
Celebrating Shabbat With My Son Before Child Loss We had a pleasant and happy family Shabbat table before my son passed away. Before I lost my child, the Friday night Shabbat meal was always a special time for our family. When the kids were small, we looked forward to discussing the Torah portion of the... Continue Reading →