Coping With the Death of a Child
Comfort for grieving parents
Recently I was contacted by an old acquaintance. We live on opposite ends of the country, so we don't see each other at all. In fact, we really don't have any contact with one another except maybe once or twice a year via phone or text. On this occasion, she caught me at a bad... Continue Reading →
A Staggering Example of Large Scale Child Loss The tragedy at Mt. Meron in Israel, where scores of people died, is another sad reminder that Moshiach isn’t here yet. When I first heard what happened there, I was shocked and saddened. Some time later, I read online short bios and photos of those who died.... Continue Reading →
In March of 2020, my dear son Jacob unexpectedly passed away at age 24. I carry the grief of his passing constantly. I have the additional anguish of being unable, or not having the opportunity, to talk about my feelings of grief to others. Talking about one’s feelings to others can be emotionally, and even... Continue Reading →
My Child Has Died and I'm Angry When my son suddenly passed away I felt angry for months. I was angry at my husband, at my friends, at the bank clerk. I was angry at everything and everyone. I was angry at people for no particular reason. I was angry ‘just because’. All that time,... Continue Reading →
Fond Memories from Long Ago I fondly remember our family seders when Jacob and his brothers were young. They received afikoman prizes for searching and finding the hidden piece of matzah. When they got older, finding the afikoman was less of a thrill, but they still enjoyed telling over the story of the Exodus and... Continue Reading →
The Meaning of a Year Gone By Without Jacob Does time go by faster or slower for a grieving parent? The yahrzeit comes around every year, no matter what. My son, Jacob, just had his first yahrzeit. This was the day I’d been dreading. Thankfully, it wasn’t the miserable crying fest I thought it would... Continue Reading →
In memory of our son’s yahrzeit, my husband and I sponsored the lecture, ‘Cremation or Burial? A Jewish View’, given on Zoom by Mr. Doron Kornbluth. This presentation was hosted by Rabbi Sholom Pinson of Chabad of South Bay in California where Jacob attended school and synagogue services. In the past, cremation was not performed... Continue Reading →
Many parents visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson (1902-1994) for advice and comfort after losing their child. The Rebbe would respond with patience and empathy, giving words of consolation and encouragement. Here are some of the Rebbe’s insights on the terrible tragedy of child loss. (What follows are not actual quotes, but merely... Continue Reading →
Some Day, One Day (Inspired by the lyrics from the song One Day by Matisyahu) Sometimes in my tears I drownBut I pray it doesn’t get me downSo when negativity surroundsI know some day it'll all turn around because All my life I've been waiting forI've been praying forMashiach to come and stayThere’ll be no... Continue Reading →
Will My Departed Child Come Back? My previous post, Life in the Afterlife, talks about living a life in the spiritual world after death. Now we discuss the final step of the soul’s journey - resurrection and returning to this physical world. After we've passed on, will we live again? Will we be reunited with... Continue Reading →
What Exactly is the Afterlife and What Does My Child Do There? A question parents often ask after the death of a child is 'Where is my child now? What's my child doing? Does my child have a life in Heaven?' One of the basic tenets of Judaism is belief in an afterlife. In brief,... Continue Reading →
'Celebrating' My Son's Birthday Well, I'm not really celebrating. It's not like we're eating cake and giving presents. The adjectives 'observing' or 'acknowledging' would be more appropriate. For the past few weeks, I was unsure of how I wanted to observe Jacob’s birthday. In some ways, I was dreading the day which used to be... Continue Reading →
Coping With the Death of a Child 