I’m in the second year of my son’s passing and I feel like I’m still in a dream. In this horrible dream, Jacob passed away. He’s no longer with me. Problem is, I can’t wake up from this dream. Every morning I awaken and a small piece of me hopes he’s still here, upstairs in... Continue Reading →
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On Tisha B’Av G-d Is Mourning With Us
I Just Don't Feel Sad On Tisha B'Av Here we are again. Another Tisha B’Av and we’re still here. By ‘here’, I mean we’re still away from our Beit Hamikdosh, our Holy Temple. We’re still away from living in our land as it was meant to be lived in. On Tisha B’Av the custom is... Continue Reading →
How I’m Honoring My Child’s Memory
Furniture Is Not Needed In The Next World In my last post, The 4 Hardest Things I Had To Do After My Son Passed Away, I spoke about how very sad I was about clearing out my son’s room after he left this world for the next. There were clothes and furniture that had to... Continue Reading →
The 4 Hardest Things I Had To Do After My Son Passed Away
It's been more than a year since my son passed away. Of all the things that had to get done after his burial, I still remember the following tasks as taking the most out of me emotionally as well as physically. 1. Getting a Headstone For My Son Putting up a headstone for a child's... Continue Reading →
Grief Has No Timeline
Recently I was contacted by an old acquaintance. We live on opposite ends of the country, so we don't see each other at all. In fact, we really don't have any contact with one another except maybe once or twice a year via phone or text. On this occasion, she caught me at a bad... Continue Reading →
The Meron Tragedy – Children Ripped Away From Their Parents
A Staggering Example of Large Scale Child Loss The tragedy at Mt. Meron in Israel, where scores of people died, is another sad reminder that Moshiach isn’t here yet. When I first heard what happened there, I was shocked and saddened. Some time later, I read online short bios and photos of those who died.... Continue Reading →
Who Can I Talk To About Child Loss?
In March of 2020, my dear son Jacob unexpectedly passed away at age 24. I carry the grief of his passing constantly. I have the additional anguish of being unable, or not having the opportunity, to talk about my feelings of grief to others. Talking about one’s feelings to others can be emotionally, and even... Continue Reading →
Is it OK to Be Angry At G-d
My Child Has Died and I'm Angry When my son suddenly passed away I felt angry for months. I was angry at my husband, at my friends, at the bank clerk. I was angry at everything and everyone. I was angry at people for no particular reason. I was angry ‘just because’. All that time,... Continue Reading →
Passover Seder Without My Son
Fond Memories from Long Ago I fondly remember our family seders when Jacob and his brothers were young. They received afikoman prizes for searching and finding the hidden piece of matzah. When they got older, finding the afikoman was less of a thrill, but they still enjoyed telling over the story of the Exodus and... Continue Reading →
My Son’s First Yahrzeit
The Meaning of a Year Gone By Without Jacob Does time go by faster or slower for a grieving parent? The yahrzeit comes around every year, no matter what. My son, Jacob, just had his first yahrzeit. This was the day I’d been dreading. Thankfully, it wasn’t the miserable crying fest I thought it would... Continue Reading →
Cremation or Burial? A Jewish View
In memory of our son’s yahrzeit, my husband and I sponsored the lecture, ‘Cremation or Burial? A Jewish View’, given on Zoom by Mr. Doron Kornbluth. This presentation was hosted by Rabbi Sholom Pinson of Chabad of South Bay in California where Jacob attended school and synagogue services. In the past, cremation was not performed... Continue Reading →
The Rebbe Speaks to Grieving Parents About Child Loss
Many parents visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson (1902-1994) for advice and comfort after losing their child. The Rebbe would respond with patience and empathy, giving words of consolation and encouragement. Here are some of the Rebbe’s insights on the terrible tragedy of child loss. (What follows are not actual quotes, but merely... Continue Reading →