Living In An Intense Stage Of Grief It’s been a bit more than two years since my son passed away at age 24. Whereas the intense sadness, anger, and depression have subsided, at times I still find myself agitated and miserable. These moments are usually the result of a physical or emotional trigger like being... Continue Reading →
The Grief of Child Loss and the Parental Guilt Trip
The Problem Of Trying To Parent My Child Beyond Childhood In my post Dealing with Guilt and Hashgacha Pratit, I discussed how G-d has a plan for me and orchestrates my every life event. I do what I can do within human limitations, but beyond that, it's up to Him. I'm suffering from child loss... Continue Reading →
Therapy for Traumatic Grief
Types of Therapy, Pros and Cons In my post Who Can I talk To About Child Loss, I discussed talking with a grief therapist, a support group, one’s friends, and G-d to find relief from the emotional turmoil one finds oneself after the death of a child. Now I’ll discuss the pros and cons of... Continue Reading →
Is My Son Frozen in Time?
A Life Story Cut Short My husband and I attend a support group for bereaved parents. All of us had a child who passed away as an adult. One person mentioned that it’s very painful to watch her child’s friends growing in their careers, getting married, and moving on with their lives. Memories of her... Continue Reading →
My Son is Having Two Yahrzeits This Year
Which Yahrzeit Should I Observe? The anniversary of a person’s passing on the Jewish calendar is called a yahrzeit. In Yiddish, yahrzeit means ‘year time’, and is the time once a year when Jewish people acknowledge their loved ones by lighting a candle, saying Kaddish in synagogue, performing mitzvot, and studying Torah. A yahrzeit is... Continue Reading →
Grief and Anger and What I’m Doing About It
In my post ‘Is It OK To Be Angry At G-d’, I spoke about misdirected anger at family, friends, and strangers. I was angry at G-d for taking away by beloved son and wondered if I had the right to be angry with Him. It’s been almost two years since Jacob passed away, and at... Continue Reading →
Birthdays Are For The Living
My Son Has Died - How Should I Celebrate His Birthday? When someone has passed away, I usually think about acknowledging their yahrzeit, the date of the person’s passing. Knowing what to do on a yarhzeit is pretty straightforward for me - I’ll light a candle, give tzedakah, etc. For how we acknowledged Jacob’s first... Continue Reading →
What To Say, (and What Not To Say), To Someone Who Has Lost a Child
Bereaved Parents Have Different Needs For Different Situations Everyone is different as to how, when, and if, they will accept comfort over losing a child. The how, where, and when of each loss is different for each situation. A parent mourning the death of a child after a long illness may require a different sort... Continue Reading →
Can Children Die For The Sins Of Their Parents?
Our Sages say when misfortune befalls, one should look at ones deeds. I sometimes ask myself ‘What did I do wrong that my son should pass away? What did he do wrong to cause an early death?’ However, I should be asking a different and much more insightful question. But more on that later. Various... Continue Reading →
Lighting My Son’s Chanukah Menorah
It’s funny how feelings change with the passing of time. Although sadness over my son’s passing hasn’t gone away, and never will, it certainly has changed and now goes in a different direction. When Jacob first passed away and for some significant time after, I couldn’t bear to look at any of his personal stuff.... Continue Reading →
To Mourn Or Not To Mourn?
A New Chapter In Grief And Mourning I’m in the middle of the second year of my son’s passing. Until now, I thought about Jacob constantly. From the time I awoke in the morning until the time I went to bed at night, my thoughts were on him. Now, for some reason, I don’t think... Continue Reading →
Why Do Good People Suffer?
This Nagging Question Never Dies There’s been a lot going on here so I haven’t been writing in awhile. I recently called a good friend and said to her ‘I wish I could tell you my life is so happy and that everything is going really super.’ I feel bad because I usually call her... Continue Reading →