In March of 2020, my dear son Jacob unexpectedly passed away at age 24. I carry the grief of his passing constantly. I have the additional anguish of being unable, or not having the opportunity, to talk about my feelings of grief to others. Talking about one’s feelings to others can be emotionally, and even... Continue Reading →
Cremation or Burial? A Jewish View
In memory of our son’s yahrzeit, my husband and I sponsored the lecture, ‘Cremation or Burial? A Jewish View’, given on Zoom by Mr. Doron Kornbluth. This presentation was hosted by Rabbi Sholom Pinson of Chabad of South Bay in California where Jacob attended school and synagogue services. In the past, cremation was not performed... Continue Reading →
Poetry of Grief
Some Day, One Day (Inspired by the lyrics from the song One Day by Matisyahu) Sometimes in my tears I drownBut I pray it doesn’t get me downSo when negativity surroundsI know some day it'll all turn around because All my life I've been waiting forI've been praying forMashiach to come and stayThere’ll be no... Continue Reading →
Resurrection – Wishful Thinking or Reality?
Will My Departed Child Come Back? My previous post, Life in the Afterlife, talks about living a life in the spiritual world after death. Now we discuss the final step of the soul’s journey - resurrection and returning to this physical world. After we've passed on, will we live again? Will we be reunited with... Continue Reading →
Life In the Afterlife
What Exactly is the Afterlife and What Does My Child Do There? A question parents often ask after the death of a child is 'Where is my child now? What's my child doing? Does my child have a life in Heaven?' One of the basic tenets of Judaism is belief in an afterlife. In brief,... Continue Reading →
Where Did All My Prayers Go?
I Prayed For My Child Every Day, Then He Died I thought that if I nagged enough, I would get what I want. In fact, nagging the Almighty is even echoed in the Jewish prayer book: "Hope in G‑d, be strong and let your heart be valiant, and hope in G‑d.” (Siddur Tehillat Hashem, p.78)... Continue Reading →
After Child Loss, Answering A Painful Question
How Many Children Do I Have After My Son Died? I’m a firm believer in the Boy Scout motto ‘Be Prepared’. I sometimes think about various scenarios and wonder how I would respond. Now, I don’t often meet new people. And now, after losing my child, I'm a bit of a recluse. But if I... Continue Reading →
Does G-d Create Good and Bad?
After Losing My Child, I Have to Ask This Painful Question About Death and Dying I never thought about death so much until my son died. Death. The word invokes something bad and evil. It’s a word that's not easily defined. It’s something no one wants to discuss. However, when we do think about death... Continue Reading →
The Disconnect Between My Head and My Heart
Why Can't I Emotionally Cope With the Loss of My Child? My intellectual brain and my emotional heart are worlds apart. Understanding something and emotionally internalizing it are two separate realms that, in me, are totally disconnected from one another. This is why it's so hard for me to understand or accept child loss. Intellectually I... Continue Reading →
Child Loss and Dealing with Guilt
I Felt Guilty When My Child Suddenly Died When I lost my son, the nagging feelings of guilt set in and made me more miserable than I already was. I thought to myself, ‘Was there something I could have done to prevent what happened?’. Jacob, being a stoic young man, never complained about physical ailments.... Continue Reading →
Stories of Child Loss in Jewish Writing
Parents Mourning Children in Torah and Tanach When my adult child died suddenly, everything seemed upside down. I was confused, agitated, unable to focus on anything for more than five minutes. Time seemed as if it was running backwards. Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. Intellectually, I knew that... Continue Reading →
How I’m Coping with the Loss of My Adult Child
My Son's Sudden Death Left Me Grief Stricken and Confused My emotional and intellectual struggle with child loss began four months ago when my dear son of twenty four years suddenly died from a heart condition no one knew he had. A kind, sweet young man, Jacob was a good son, brother, uncle, and friend to those who... Continue Reading →