First of all, I want to share the wonderful news that my husband and I are grandparents of twin boys born to Jacob’s brother Adam and his wife on the fourth night of Chanukah. In addition to the joy we feel over the birth of these little guys, it’s also bittersweet in that our son... Continue Reading →
Our Lost Children Are Like Grass
Every few weeks I go to the cemetery and trim the grass over my child's grave. ( Why the cemetery isn’t doing this is a long story, so don’t ask ) Next to Jacob are two graves of young adults who died around the same age, one in his mid twenties, the other in his... Continue Reading →
Don’t Be Afraid to Talk to Young Children About Death
Parents and teachers are sometimes afraid to talk to young children about death. ‘They’re too young’ or ‘They won’t understand’ are a few of the justifications to avoid speaking about this topic. The fear of talking to young children about death is unfounded, and is based on our own adult discomfort about the subject. In... Continue Reading →
Art Therapy as a Means of Coping with Child Loss and Grief
Art therapy is a valuable tool that helps people cope with trauma. In particular, parents suffering from child loss find art therapy useful to express painful emotions they can’t otherwise communicate. How does creating art help parents cope with such tragedy? To fully understand the benefits of art therapy as a means of coping with... Continue Reading →
4 Feelings and Thoughts About Child Loss that Afflict Bereaved Parents
I want to address 4 feelings and thoughts about child loss that afflict me and other bereaved parents. These feelings are the most common among those who suffer from child loss. Bereaved parents have jumbled and conflicting emotions coping with the loss of a child, and these painful feelings and thoughts affect our self perception... Continue Reading →
Child Loss and Making Our Tears Count
I lost my son at the young age of 24. The sadness of child loss never goes away, and I thought the intensity would diminish over time. Instead it seems that, in some ways, coping with child loss is harder for me now than it was then. Even though my son passed away a while ago,... Continue Reading →
Holding in the Grief of Child Loss
I've suffered child loss for a few years now, and I still vividly remember the day my son died. He passed away in the morning, and for several hours after he died, I couldn’t cry. The tears just wouldn’t come. I thought something must be wrong with me. Why can’t I cry? After that, a... Continue Reading →
Who Can I Talk To About Child Loss?
In March of 2020, my dear son Jacob unexpectedly passed away at age 24. I carry the grief of his passing constantly. I have the additional anguish of being unable, or not having the opportunity, to talk about my feelings of grief to others. Talking about one’s feelings to others can be emotionally, and even... Continue Reading →
Is it OK to Be Angry At G-d
My Child Has Died and I'm Angry When my son suddenly passed away I felt angry for months. I was angry at my husband, at my friends, at the bank clerk. I was angry at everything and everyone. I was angry at people for no particular reason. I was angry ‘just because’. All that time,... Continue Reading →
Poetry of Grief
Some Day, One Day (Inspired by the lyrics from the song One Day by Matisyahu) Sometimes in my tears I drownBut I pray it doesn’t get me downSo when negativity surroundsI know some day it'll all turn around because All my life I've been waiting forI've been praying forMashiach to come and stayThere’ll be no... Continue Reading →
After Child Loss, Answering A Painful Question
How Many Children Do I Have After My Son Died? I’m a firm believer in the Boy Scout motto ‘Be Prepared’. I sometimes think about various scenarios and wonder how I would respond. Now, I don’t often meet new people. And now, after losing my child, I'm a bit of a recluse. But if I... Continue Reading →
The Disconnect Between My Head and My Heart
Why Can't I Emotionally Cope With the Loss of My Child? My intellectual brain and my emotional heart are worlds apart. Understanding something and emotionally internalizing it are two separate realms that, in me, are totally disconnected from one another. This is why it's so hard for me to understand or accept child loss. Intellectually I... Continue Reading →