Tehillim, also known as the Book of Psalms, is an extraordinary collection of sacred poetry cherished by Jewish communities and people of faith around the world. Composed of 150 individual psalms, this ancient text offers wisdom, comfort, and inspiration. After child loss, connecting with our loved ones through Tehillim brings tremendous benefit to both parent and child.
What is Tehillim?
Tehillim, from the Hebrew word meaning ‘praises’, is a compilation of poetic prayers attributed to King David and others including Moses and the first man Adam. The book is known as King David’s book because he composed the majority of the psalms and compiled the rest into the book of Tehillim. The psalms are an integral part of Jewish prayer.
Tehillim: a Psalm for Every Experience
King David, known for his deep spirituality and musical talent, authored these psalms during pivotal moments in his life. Tehillim covers a wide range of themes, including gratitude, supplication, repentance, and a yearning for Divine connection. Each psalm serves as a reflection of human experience and emotions, making it relatable to anyone seeking solace in times of distress or joy.
Loss and Connecting With Our Loved Ones Through Tehillim
Blessings for Family, Friends, Community, and the World
Since Tehillim is a form of prayer, many people recite psalms daily asking for G-d’s blessings for family, friends, community, and the world. Heaven’s spiritual bounty is especially strong on a person’s Hebrew birthday. That’s why when saying Tehillim for a specific person, it’s customary to recite the psalm corresponding to the person’s age plus 1. For example, if a person is 20 years old, recite psalm 21, because the individual is in their 21st year of life. For a newborn baby, say psalm 1.
Connecting With a Child After Death
Reciting Tehillim doesn’t end after a child passes away. In fact, saying psalms in memory of a child is extremely beneficial to the soul in Heaven. We’re saying to G-d that this child is not forgotten. Reciting His praises in the merit of a child, brings joy to G-d and to the immortal soul of the child.
Connecting With My Son Through Tehillim
Ever since Jacob was born, I recited his personal psalm each day, and I’m still saying it. If Jacob were alive today, he’d be 28 years old, so I say psalm 29 in his memory. On his Hebrew birthday, I’ll say the next psalm, and so on, as long as I’m able to. When I visit him at the gravesite, I say his psalm there too. I’m maintaining a connection with him as if he were still alive. Actually, he is very much alive, just not in this physical world. And he’s comforted knowing that he’s still part of our family. We remember him always.
The Emotions of Saying Tehillim
Saying Tehillim for a child who has passed on is emotionally difficult. Each time I say Jacob’s psalm, tears enter my eyes. Sometimes a few tears, sometimes a lot. Even though it’s hard, I feel it’s so necessary, for him and for me.
Conclusion
The third Rebbe of Lubavitch, Rabbi Menachem Mendel (1789-1866), known as the Tzemach Tzedek, passed down a beautiful insight on Tehillim:
‘If you only knew – The Tzemach Tzedek said – the power of verses of Tehillim and their effect in the highest Heavens, you would recite them constantly. Know that the chapters of Tehillim shatter all barriers, they ascend higher and still higher with no interference; they prostrate themselves in supplication before the Master of all worlds, and they effect and accomplish with kindness and compassion.’ (Hayom Yom, 23 Shevat)
The Rebbe’s words speak for themselves.
Coping With the Death of a Child 
Thank you for responding to my email from the other day. Re reciting the Tehillim by King David, if only we would all do the Tehillim, then Maschiach would arrive, and we would all know and all the world would know, that without a doubt, all the suffering that we experience on this earth is not for naught, all a part of G-d’s divine plan, G-d’s love for us so immense that we cannot even fathom it. May Maschiach arrive very soon, within our time. Happy Holidays.
Get Outlook for Androidhttps://aka.ms/AAb9ysg
Amen, and a Happy Holiday to all
My son, Jacob, passed away on October 23rd, 2024 and I’ve continued to say his tehillim daily. Today is his 27th Hebrew birthday and I’ve now begun saying tehillim 28. I came across your article because I was searching for additional tehillim to say to elevate his soul, but seeing that you too lost your Jacob and that he was close to the age of my son stopped me in my tracks. Thank you for sharing this and may Jacob’s memory be a blessing.
Thank you for your comment and kind words. Browsing online, I saw an article about a small child who passed away with similar systems of my son who had the same first and last name. I couldn’t believe it. May all our departed children have continuous aliyot in shomayim.